Social media and right to privacy

    We don't have to talk about how big social media has become in the last decade or so. Many teenagers, twenty-somethings, and even older folks cannot live without Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites, PG-rated and otherwise, as well as blogs like this one. Still, one would like to think there is a balance between having a social life online and having a true "private" life. There are some of us adults who have no problem letting the world see virtually everything about their life, even as far as who we may share our intimate life with and maybe what underwear he is she is (or is not) wearing today. Most of us prefer to not be THAT open, on social media or otherwise, for various reasons.
     Is there a line between being social online and the right to privacy, even if you are a teenager? I recently read a story on msnbc.com about a teenage girl who was forced by administrators at her school to allow them to access her Facebook page and review all of the information on her page last fall. The article did not list a reason for such, such as seeking information about (cyber) bullying that this student was involved in, or something similar. The school officials just did it. More importantly, they did such without informing her parents beforehand nor having them present during the questioning and so on. The child's mother finally chose to speak out, while noting that other parents in the school were...unwilling to speak up. What the hell?
     First, let me be clear. Bullying in all forms, including cyber-bullying, is a major hot-button issue today. This is a old issue, but the Internet has cast new attention on it, which is good. But the Internet also gives new options to do it or be a victim of it, which is not good. Bullying in all forms is wrong. Period. Many of us dealt with this as kids. I did to a extent myself, but I was a loner to a extent. Most of us are not that fortunate. Hazing (which is physical and/or emotional abuse done during private recruitment and/or initiation activities), which usually occurs in fraternities, sororities and other social groups is wrong too. It is a "adult" form of bullying, and is a act that has been banned by many of these groups, including my fraternity, Kappa Alpha Psi. None of it is right.
      I support doing what needs to be done to stop bullying and hazing, especially that which causes injury and sometimes death. Some kids and adults don't get it. But I digress. Does a teenager, much less a adult, have a right to privacy when it comes to social media and the Internet? Yes! But, teenagers must still answer to their parent(s) and legal guardians when it comes to this. I am not saying that parents should have their kid's passwords to their Facebook page. If the kid freely gives it to them..good. If the parent is also on Facebook, and the child friends them with full access to what is posted....great. My daughter has me, her mother AND her grandfather as friends on her Facebook page. No problem. There is a line to be drawn, though.
     I don't think kids should be on Twitter or Facebook during school hours. School is supposed to be about learning. Before school or after school....okay. Schools should do what they can to prevent social media use during school hours, to help promote learning AND to prevent cyber-bullying. School officials should not have the right to force a child to give up access to their social media accounts at school, if the parent or guardian is not in the room next to the child when the request is made. And with good reason! To do otherwise is criminal, in my opinion, and it scars the child for LIFE.And maybe the parent too. School officials SHOULD be available for tips, anonymous or otherwise, about bullying of all kinds without reprisals, as should parents, coaches and other adults. Period. Any questions?

Should mothers breastfeed in public?

    I saw this article on the cover of Stars and Stripes (stripes.com) this afternoon (my time) about the firestorm over photos of two military moms (one with TWINS!) being shown breastfeeding in uniform. Is this right or wrong? Should any mom be able to breastfeed their baby (not a 3 year old, a baby under the age of, say, 1 year or maybe 18 months) in any public place, in military uniform or not, as long as the mom, tries to be discreet about it (puts a loose blanket over the baby and the bared breast and/or is in a semi-private corner...meaning not trying to deliberately attract attention to what she is doing, including her partially bare breast)?  Below is (most of) the text I just wrote and posted on stripes.com in its entirety. I might have left out a few words. It is long...sorry.   

   For this particular task, promoting a civilian support group started by a military spouse, you are right. These military ladies should not have done these photos, or any other kind of promotion of the group, (photos, text or the like) in uniform since there IS a rule against that. These moms should have known that. The founder of the group in question, Crystal Scott, a military spouse herself, should have known that. Mrs. Scott's husband, whoever he is, MOST DEFINITELY should have known this, IF he knew what was going on. Let's assume for the sake of this discussion he did not. Ms. Scott needs to make a public apology to the country, and to these ladies for leading them astray. Her group should also redo the campaign before they make posters or post online or whatever.              
     These ladies should be disciplined for this offense. I will state the punishment in a minute. With the above said, women SHOULD be allowed to breast-feed in public without shame or really, major notice, as long as they are reasonably discreet about it. Most of us were breast-fed when we were babies, some in public. What is the harm? We see partially or mostly bare (adult female) breasts every day, on on the street, on TV, online, or in our own homes if we are adult men or women who have a girlfriend and/or a (female) spouse that they live with. The USA is the one country that has a cow over bare breasts for any reason, due to repressed men who hold all the power and many of their wives and girlfriends who are just as repressed who tell them what to do. In Germany, some magazines (in addition to Playboy or other X-rated magazines) show women topless ON THE COVER for all to see, including small kids on the magazine rack. There are topless (and nude) beaches all over the world where women bare such. I know because I have seen such. If guys can be shirtless if they want, so should women. Equal rights and all. But that is another discussion for another day.
    Bottom line, breastfeeding is natural and has undisputed health benefits to mother AND child, in most cases. And babies sometimes can't wait until baby and mom are home to eat..military mom or civilian mom...and baby shouldn't have to wait...for THAT would be neglect at a minimum. You know what is worst. These military moms should write and read a statement on LIVE TV apologizing for breaking the rule on promoting a civilian organization in uniform. And that is all they should apologize for, and that should be their punishment. NO apologies for breastfeeding in public; nor for being photographed doing it...in or out of uniform. No extra duty. No reduction in rank. Simple as that.  Call it a STRONG warning. Do it again...all bets are off.  If someone (especially an man) interferes with such without a good reason, DISCIPLINE HIM. Period.
    If military folk can smoke, eat, drink alcohol, drive ,laugh, talk, cuss, travel, play sports and/or gamble (in overseas installations) in uniform in public (and I have seen all of these things occur), then discreet breastfeeding should be okay too. In fact there is NO rule against it, as of today, and there shouldn't be. EVER.

    You can see where I stand. My wife, a former military spouse, read the article and while she is all for breastfeeding...wherever...within reason, she also things these ladies should be disciplined by the military for breaking this rule, and ONLY for that reason. I agree. The discipline that I think should be done is stated above. 

    Look, I do believe that women should have equal rights as men. Equal pay, equal access, equal ability to have fun, within reason as men. Women must also be held equally accountable under the law. Same for the disabled, same for those in same-sex relationships. I also think that if women want to be topless in public (WITHIN reason) they should, just like men. Unfortunately, women's breasts are considered to be a sexual organ just like male and female genitals down south. This is a true statement.

      BUT breasts also do a important job in feeding babies milk for the first weeks and months after birth, if the mother wishes (and is physically able) to do such. There is a time and a place for everything. If I am bowling and I am attempting to throw my 12th straight strike for (my first) 300 game, as nice as a sight as breasts (usually) are, I would NOT want to see ANY woman, even my wife, flash her bare breasts at me. Same if I am driving or if I am working or watching sports...even the WNBA (okay...cleavage is okay..more or less). However, if a mother is breast-feeding her child in a public place...and is trying to be somewhat discreet about it, I am cool with it. Will I look at her, with her breast(s) mostly exposed? Perhaps. But I would never begrudge her her right to do it. , whether she is in the military or not. Should the baby suffer (in other words, wait when he or she wants breast milk NOW...and a bottle won't do)? Hell no! 

    Look, unless you are blind and/or a hermit with no contact with the outside world, you see (adult) women every day (Leave females under 18 out of this). Hence, you see (at least) the estimated shape of a woman's breasts every day. They are almost always covered with at least two pieces of clothing, if not more, by necessity. You will almost surely  see this on your spouse or partner. Maybe your mom or grandmother. It may be your boss. It may be your coworker. It may be a average lady on the street. It may be a pro tennis player, golfer, or basketball player in person or on TV, online or on video. It might be a actress or newscaster. In most cases, you will see at a minimum, the above. You may see (a little or a lot of) cleavage. You might even see more than that, by accident or on purpose. It happens. Men are lucky enough that they can freely show their bare chest, arms and most things except his genitals (in polite company). And they can and (most) do look at women. I am not saying it is right, but it happens. Hey, women check out what MIGHT be hiding in a man's pants, too. It does happens, even if no decent woman or man will admit to it. 

    Bottom line, every man and every woman is a person, with feelings, insecurities, and (most of) the same parts as all others of their gender. Most importantly, every person has brains and intelligence and deserves to be respected for such, no matter how big and/or small and/or (allegedly) sexy, and/or (partially or fully) exposed whatever assets are, for whatever reasons. Understand? Just internalize with whatever...less than polite reactions that you feel while in public and deal with them later..when you are alone...where no real harm will occur.